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All wrapped up in revenge

It is a blanket made out of poison ivy. A refreshing beverage with 80% of pure  & unsweetened bad karma. It is a crown worn upside down. A boomerang of blades, and a lovely bouquet of nettles. Revenge is a dish best left unserved, I say.

Perhaps you have spent the wee hours on Pinterest and seen this?

Sh’yeah, so true. Yet … somehow… the path of revenge beckons like a secret wormhole to self empowerment and freedom. I know I have been caught in a personal tug of war with the   d  a  r  k    s  i  d  e.  But before I slipped into Darth Vader’s arms, I realized that the power revving the Revenge Engine was the feeling of injustice, the certainty that I have somehow been WRONGED. Ding! This just struck a memory chord. I sighed deeply, sat down against a wall, closed my eyes and remembered my personal mantra: “I’d rather be happy than right. I’d rather be happy than right. I’d rather be happy than right”. And decided than instead of the cold dish of revenge, I wanted a FEAST of the FUTURE. [By the way, I think that REVENGE is a cold dish, because it is prepared OF the past FOR the past. The heat long gone, as well as the taste.]

I wasn’t saying to myself forgive and forget, turn the other cheek, be the bigger man or any such crap. All I was was saying GIRL, MOVE THE FUCK ON, PUT ALL YOUR MIGHT BEHIND GETTING TO WHERE YOU WANT TO BE. Point 1 for me, Mr Vader (and please stop calling if all you are going to do is breathe on me).

He keeps calling me, though. Mr Vader, that is. Because it is very hard to keep your light saber as a decorative mood light item, when there is someone out to get you. When the gauntlet is being thrown on the ground so much that it is a rusted piece of scheiz. The electric hum of a vendetta is in the air. But I persist (light saber still safely fixed above the fireplace) and observe instead. Like a good ole researcher. So … here’s what I have scribbled into my little black book so far.

Note 1: Being all wrapped up in revenge does not make you comfy. It makes you itchy and unhappy. As all your energy is being wasted in the speculation of the irrelevant, in an attempt that is built to fall and fizzle, while all the best things (about YOU) wither and fade away. Important things like: doing things that make you sparkle! And doing it often! Observation: revenge equals rot. Yuck. My advice: don’t rot, be awesome instead. You know, like the meme: “When I am sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead”!

Note 2:  The Revenge Engine (V8) runs in the wrong direction. It only runs back to the past, and very often in circles, like a segway designed by the guy who invented Fundies (go ahead, google it). Sorry to break the news to all you avengers out there, but you’ll never ride The Revenge Engine to the beautiful sunset. On the brighter side, however, you’ll probably leave spectacular tire marks while you try!

Note 3: Running in circles and mostly backwards at that (some might say “arse first”) makes one dizzy, disoriented. It would seem that the perfect revenge plots you see in movies only work … for Nicholas Cage. In real life, you just make a buffoon out of yourself. Or, in this case, a buffette. Personally, I make a point of NOT being at the butt end of the joke, if you know what I mean … well, unless the joke is really truly funny and it’s time for me to laugh at myself for a change!

Note 4: (unfinished) If love makes you blind, anger makes you see red, then revenge makes you see in black & white and with lo-res at that. A world that is black and white is not a world worth living in.

So, Mr Vader (and your catering service: Dark Matter Catering Inc.), there will be no orders from me. I continue to prefer Lempi Pizza’s delivery boy who always shows up with a big white-toothed smile and a friendly comment, not to mention the cheesy bliss in the cardboard box. That is a feast in the very near future. And beyond that, who knows WHAT, as long as I remember to direct all my energy (and after this pizza there will be plenty) towards an AWESOME FUTURE!

One comment on “All wrapped up in revenge

  1. Hear, hear!

    But why, oh why, Mr Vader and his Dark Matter Catering Inc’s menu is so tempting?
    It is like McDonald’s for a weight watcher… You know you should not, but you cannot resist and do it anyway… And it might make you happy – for a few seconds – but then it hits you like a ton of bricks – and you hate yourself of doing it!

    But anyway, well spoken words and worth remembering – every day!

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